Ксения Время

Увлекаюсь путешествиями и чтением. Прозу и стихи пишу одиннадцатый год. С недавних пор и перевожу свои произведения на английский.

Отрывок из произведения «Karin’s demons»

Karin was always in the clouds. He was picked on at school because it seemed to him that demons and shades of night dangled after him. And not a day went by when he would not have heard a caustic word after him from scathing classmates. Sometimes Karin had his doubts about verisimilitude of the occurred events when shadows looked into pupils’ faces. Children standing near the lockers in the passage didn’t notice them like teachers who didn’t see surrounding shadows at the lessons.  At the same time he imagined a biting swear-word «liar» running alone his back letter by letter. If it had been raining in California constantly every falling drop would have burnt an imaginary hole in the cotton coat having reached a delicate skin.  More often Karin didn’t care a damn about heard phrases because of confidence in being a good shape. Through conviction in own righteousness he didn’t answer anything to the vile things and came back home after school keeping salience. The boy didn’t have friends to tell what had happened with him. And he didn’t want to worry his mother telling about visions or classmates. Never didn’t she ask him because Karin studied well, not giving rise to complaints about behavior.   The lapse of time, having known the truth from school head about long-running dispute with class his mother hadn’t abidden by demands for boy’s continuing of studying.  The sending to psychologist would mean to recognize the incontestability of child’s unhealthy state of mind. So the school head was crying foaming at the mouth as loudly as he could have been sent to the doctors.   Safima took Karin’s documents from the school and transferred him to another one having forbidden telling to anybody about visions strictly. The glassy eyes and a thousand yard stare were explained by being deep in thought. It became the main explanation of strange behavior during all school days which were not a lot for that time. Hardly had the boy hidden his horror from new classmates, but having enlisted class monitor’s support he could get accustomed to new living people and old dead shadows tailing after him.

The difference of Franson on the South of California from other cities was giving preference to have a mind of their own, to be busy and being not with their nose in the air. Karin lived here before becoming a college student. He left school with getting first place in exams getting a scholarship for public health study in Florida International University. Having decided not hamper his mother the young man moved to dormitory. In the day time he learnt in practice brain structure and anatomy. In the evening he was up too late in the empty reference room for carry out job or reread the summaries. He ceased to be afraid of painful loneliness and accepted last enemy into rows of friends and felt at home.

Sometimes shadows sat right beside him at the oval oblong oak table. They observed motionlessly Karin’s turning over the leaves of the thick dusty books studying neurons’ working.   He had to give names to kept long friends in his life. When he named them the shadows could wave their hands or nod their heads if those blended into formless coal trunks parts could have been called as it was.  Sometimes Karin thought he fancied he saw, but reactions of his made-up friends had to collect himself and accepted. He was listened to them and understood.

One night remembered early morning walk in the native city when the fog looked like rich milk in the glass Karin inexplicably wanted to walk along and to have a good time in some bar after. He was not a lover of getting out to the street and the stroll was like great event if not the ordeal.  But tonight he wanted desperately breathing into imaginary mist from the past remembering of that time when he lived with mother. So having overcome senses he put on a jacket, zipped it up, hiked up his jeans and pulled down warm sweater. It became much warmer and more comfortable. Having pulled his cap over his ears and twisted round scarf presented by mother he went out the room of the dormitory. Karin locked the door turning the key thrice and went down stairs reluctantly.

Seen nobody he left the building, went alone the main avenue. In front of it he turned right in the direction of center.  The city was sleeping. The cold moved slowly from heels to Adam’s apple. Karin was seldom believed of freezing in such a hot climate. But he didn’t try to prove the contrary of a statement knowing the constant presence of shadows took a little part of human warm from him. So his arms were always ice-cold and frozen fingers couldn’t be warmed even with woollen socks at night.

The young man tried to go slowly breathing a November fresh air into lungs. Friends crawled away the upper limbs of the tree, the lamp poles and flashed on the asphalt under feet. One smart shadow was jumping from one side of the road to another for attracting man’s attention. At the crossroad he turned left and walked alone pair of quarters recollecting the recent walk from the main training corps to the dormitory. There was not big bar at the corner which was often dropped at by fellow students. In the hope that it wiould be empty Karin pushed the squeaking door and whisked into dark room having crossed the threshold. He didn’t notice the contrast between street darkness and shimmer inside just like he didn’t pay attention to justified hopes of sitting not big friendly company at the wide table having puffed smoke into ceiling. Striking against it the melted away clouds of smoke were spreading above at the corners and disappearing into the emptiness.

Karin went to the counter trying to show that he was frequenter. It was a brazen lie. He read somewhere if you came in not looking at anybody people would think that man had been there before and wouldn’t focus their attention on him. That’s just Karin needed because of frequent awkward situation emerged after his fear. It appeared as before shadows as before living people in new unknown places.

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